This is going to be one of those semi-personal posts once again. This time the topic is weight gain/weight loss.
Here is a timeline of my weight loss and weight gain.
|Me and Lisa at Anime Evolution|
I used to think I was such a heifer, weighing around 175 pounds. So over several months, I got my weight down to 135-140.
Later in 2007
|At the pub, making fools of ourselves|
I got down to about 135 pounds. Obviously I'm naturally kind of shapely and voluptuous, so I don't have as thin of a shape as the girl next to me. But I didn't really care about that kind of this. I liked my body the way it was.
|Me and Colleen at a pub with friends|
I love beauty - the feminine curves of a body, perfect shape of a face, beautiful eyes, lips, nose, thick luxurious hair - I love it. This (picture above), is the prettiest picture ever taken of me. The angle, the colours, everything. I've always loved it. It's not exactly 100% accurate to my face though. But still, I was happy with the photo ^_^
And then I got a boyfriend (my first and only "serious" one)
|Lisa, Me, Him|
And then he dumped me via Facebook (yeah, I know, eh?).
And then I got really depressed. The whole time span of these events are pretty blurry in my head, especially the memories of the relationship. I think I was going through a lot of pain I couldn't mentally deal with, so my brain just put a really thick fog over those memories. The pain wasn't really about him though - it was an idea of abandonment, lack of worth, fear of being alone and never loving again, and the worst part - becoming sick at the fact that I had acted completely unlike myself the whole time just to impress someone, who probably wasn't impressed at all.
So then I stayed in my room for a month or so. And ate chocolate, and drank pop, every single day. I watched the whole Stargate series (which was amazing), and slowly recuperated. I also read until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, so that I wouldn't have time to think before I fell asleep.
So I started to gain weight, slowly and steadily. About at this time I started going to a psychiatrist to figure out how to deal with my anxiety disorder (that was a whole process and experience in and of itself).
See my tummy peeking out? And my thighs getting bigger, and maybe my boobs too. I remember really hating this picture, but not enough to kick my new junk food addiction.
By this point I was really packing on the pounds.
|Yay dorky photo of moi|
|Julia and Me at Granville Island - Ash was taking the photo|
|Me, Ash, Julia|
My dear friend Ashley was visiting us from California that summer. It was such an amazing summer! I miss her so much...
2009 & 2010
Started University, met a lot of amazing people. Continued to gain weight like a champ.
|Me, a school assignment where we were practicing taking motion shots with cameras|
|Crystal, me, Naomi, Victoria, Karen, and Becca|
I had really gained a lot of weight by this time.... But there was still more to come.
and a few more pounds...
|Me with the brats at their grandparents house|
WHAT THE EFF HAPPENED?
I feel like I've woken from a bad dream, only to realize it wasn't a dream at all. Or the me that I am right now is just someone from a parallel universe or something, where everything is the same except for roly poly me.
I am 250 friggin' pounds. Holy Shit Batman.
So not only is this incredibly UNHEALTHY and making life SUCK, it is also highly annoying. I bump into things randomly because I don't really comprehend the amount of space I take up, my knees and feet hurt like a son-of-aaa, and I'm just plain ugh.
I'm using my journal, and you friendly folks, as a way to work toward a healthier lifestyle, and plan to chronicle my weight loss/gain journey each week. Here's to coming back to me! :)
Have any of you out there struggled with weight before? Whether it be gain or loss? Share your story :)