A Spectrum of Introspection

Rainbows, they're kind of the universal sign for starting over, and starting things afresh, aren't they?

It gives me a lot of peace of mind to know that things are always in motion, circumstances can and do always change, and that like my art, me and my life are a work in progress.

Rainbow - view from my living room window a few weeks ago.

During Fall and Winter, it feels like the world goes into a cold, dark, yet cozy, hibernation... but for me, it feels like a time for change, and a time to evolve. It's a quiet time, with lots of hours spent indoors, where you can think and work, and not feel distracted by sunny days or warm summer nights (both of which distract me a lot in the summer lol).

I already sense change in myself... Last night I cut my hair (it's about shoulder length now), painted my nails a   shimmering teal, and have almost finished designing my new illustration site. I'm thinking about what I'm most passionate about and how to pursue a life that encompasses it all.

Over the past week, I've been asking myself, 'could I really be a storybook illustrator?' Do I have what it takes? Am I talented enough? Is there a market for my style of work? Could I be someone like Arthur Rackham or Brian Froud?

I think my biggest worry about being a storybook illustrator, aside from making it or breaking it, is that I won't get to work on projects that I love. And I know me - I don't have the heart to work on anything for the long term, unless it's a passion project. It must be a story with fantasy, magic, and imagination! There's no way I could illustrate medical or educational books, simplistic children picture books, or even work regularly in a style that is different than my own. It would squash every bit of creativity in me, out of me. Just like art school did, in a way. It's been two years, and I've just over the past couple months felt a hunger to paint again. The good thing about being a freelance illustrator, though, is that if you really think you'll hate a job, you can turn it down. You can say, 'nope, not my style, and not a story I connect with, so no, I will not be investing six months of my life into this'. With art school you really had no choice.

I think I'm going to go for it.
I need to make a new portfolio that shows interesting perspectives, children, animals, and interesting landscapes. I'd also like to illustrate a story (Alice, Peter Pan, Pride and Prejudice).

While I build up my portfolio and look for illustration work, I'll also continue with my jewelry business, blogging, and my own personal art, stories, and comics. A very busy girl I shall be!

I hope you're all having a lovely weekend! :)